A Successful Relationship Needs Matched Expectations

To make a relationship successful, everyone involved needs to be on the same page about expectations. Most people (wrongly) believe that love is unconditional: that the goal is a type of love with no expectations or conditions on it. I might burst your bubble, but the truth is, unconditional love is actually toxic. Without conditions, I can do anything I want in our relationship, and you should still love me. If I lie, cheat, spend your life’s savings, or get a tattoo of my ex’s face, you must still love me because you love me unconditionally. See how “unconditional love” could be a problem? 

Turns out that conditions are important to a relationship. They give you the “rules to win” in your relationship. If I say that to be in a relationship with me, you must be monogamous, then that lets you know your loyalty is important to me and thus should be treated with respect. If you tell me you don’t want to have kids, and I want a family, then our expectations don’t match. Eventually, we’ll need to have a conversation.

Now, here’s the thing, just because you aren’t on the same page about all of your expectations doesn’t mean you are doomed. It just means that you MUST talk about your expectations and see if you can reach a middle ground. Or decide if those particular expectations don’t need to match! Then, and only then, can you see if there’s a future or not. So don’t skip this step! This is one of the secrets to creating a strong relationship that can stand the test of time.

Want to create better communication in your relationship? Grab a spot in my free Masterclass – How to Communicate: Relationship Edition!